Get It While You Can

Sometimes I forget that college (or whatever age) isn't just an extended practice period, that it does in fact count as real life too. And a recent realization of this could have been scary to me, but instead was incredible exciting. When I was in high school, like 9th or 10th grade, I would be home at night and get excited about getting to be me the next day at school - which sounds incredibly conceited, I know. I just mean that I would get excited about school where I could interact with people and be whatever version of myself I wanted to be that day. The excitement came from being able to share who I was in a social environment, because at home I didn't feel like I was really sharing anything. So this week sometime, when I was lying on a couch with my hair everywhere in a smokey basement apartment with two interesting guys, listening to classic rock or something, that realization came. I have always felt anticipation, and if I'm not anticipating something I'm probably depressed. And while I plan to keep anticipation in my life for awhile, I also am going to try to remind myself that what's real isn't just the plans you make for the summer or for after graduation, it's all the time. Somehow, I wasn't totally getting it before. I'm still not sure if I do.

In other news, we're having a party at the house this weekend, and I can't wait. Also, I got a library card today from the Harrisonburg library, and am back to reading biographies. Healthy or unhealthy? I don't know. It's Goldie Hawn's.